Letters from the past to present

The past couple months have been a world wind. The weeks have flown by, and its just now that i feel i can catch my breath and catch up. Peter came home for Christmas. Of coarse, it couldn't be nice and smooth. He was scheduled to fly back in the midst of a huge storm. He was panicky, I was panicky. I was on hold for 4 hours, just to be disconnected, with his airlines trying to get things sorted out. He ended up staying the night in North Carolina, and made it home in time for our little overnight get away at my moms Hotel. It had been a very trying week in mommy world. Charlie was sick and cutting her first molar. Not sleeping much. The night before he got in she broke out in hives due to an allergic reaction to a vapor bath i had given her. It amazes me all the feeling that come along with being a mother. The powerlessness is the most over whelming, yet mothers are so powerful...go figure. Once at the hotel with my husband I could breath again...well sort of. I had the same cold that Charlie had, so my throat felt like it had a softball in it. Nothing in my world goes super smooth.....which gives me more to write about. We had massages and sushi. I got to watch an uninterrupted movie....it had been a while since i had and uninterrupted anything. Having Peter home was wonderful, yet strange. Strange because I have gotten so use to doing everything myself, that it felt weird to have constant help. It was awesome to sleep in, but even more awesome to come home to my little love. I missed her so.

Christmas day I woke up unable to move the upper half of my body. I threw my back out in the night and spent most of Christmas looking for an Urgent care that was open...wonderful. Finally I gave up and decided to just tough it out until the next day. It had been a while since I had been in that much pain. I absolutely hate being held back.....once again that damn powerless feeling. I was laid up for a good four days. Thank God Pete was here to help.....I couldn't even pick up Charlie with our yelping out.

We spent most of our two weeks just relaxing and enjoying our daughter. It was nice, but to short. Pete left the same day that me, mom, and Charlie headed to Colorado to celebrate Mom's 50th. It was nice to be in the mountains again, but being in an unbabyproofed environment is not vacation for mom. Quite the opposite. Charlie fell down stairs, got nipped by a dog, got a horrible cold that she is still fighting, and I hardly slept. Needless to say im glad to be home.

A couple weeks ago I got and email from my Aunt. My uncle had found a record that my Grandmother had made for my Grandfather when he was off fighting in WW2. Attached was a letter. There love and strength inspire me to tears. It was just what i needed. My grandmothers Christmas gift to me. When Pete first joined the Army, I was told about how hard it was on marriages..... a lot ending in divorce. I understand why. The separation can be too much for couples. I find my self leaning on my Grandparents spirit to guide me. Give me strength to make this an adventure, rather then a burden. Old fashion patriotism and commitment has been lost to an extent with my generation, and im trying to bring that back in my own family. Here is the letter and a transcript because it is a little hard to read.

"Hello darling,
How's my boy? I hope you're going to be able to find a phonograph to play this on. Talking to you like this is a little worst than having "mike fright" but if the sound of my voice means one half to you as what hearing yours would mean to me, I guess you won't mind any errors.

The most important message I have for you in this--listen closely, I love you. Carl, dearest, and I'm very, very proud of you--of you and of everyone of your splendid comrades. That last parade was an inspiration and you'll come marching victorious. I know you will. We're rooting for you and better than that, new steps are being taken every day to keep the folks at home working for you.

I'm planning to spend New Year's Eve with you. Wherever I am I'll leave the crowd at midnight and keep that moment for you alone. I hope you'll do the same. Merry Christmas, darling--white Christmas, and keep remembering that there isn't any ocean big enough to separate us.
I love you."